Tweet
regarding my other thread, behavior plan. I got it off a Dr. Sears website. We will try it for 30 days, mom will start Saturday, and I will start Monday. Mom and I will both be using the same method, and we will do it with both the preschoolers (with different colored tickets for each to prevent stealing). We have to work out a few details yet, like what the "rewards" will be. Also, I haven't figured out what do do if SOMEONE looses ALL his tickets, and then still acts like a butt head. Maybe stick em in the snow? :
:
The ticket system
Tina and her four-year-old daughter Haley were very connected. Haley had been a high-need baby and turned into a strong-willed child. Here is how Tina channeled Haley's obstinate behavior in the right direction and had fun doing it:
Haley and I were butting heads, and it seemed like our whole day was becoming increasingly full of negatives. All the techniques I'd tried before weren't working. So I tried what we fondly refer to as the ticket system. This took incredible stress off me as a mother, and I was no longer the bad guy. I give her three 'free' tickets to start the day. She earns tickets for helping without being asked, for doing assigned chores, for having a good attitude, etc. She loses tickets for whining, complaining, refusing to obey (which eliminated the on-going 'By the time I count to three' line that I was always using). The tickets became like gold, and after a while she became more and more eager to please. At the end of the day or the week Haley got a special treat that was prearranged according to the number of coupons she had collected (frozen yogurt, a movie, a hamburger, etc.).
With Haley, it was very difficult to see the 'positive' in her behavior. The ticket system forced me to 'catch' her at being good, as opposed to just seeing the bad. I found myself saying things such as, 'I liked the way you smiled when you woke up this morning' or 'Thank you for waiting your turn on the swing without screaming or crying.' Delayed gratification was not Haley's strong suit, so I would carry tickets with me everywhere we went, so that she not only heard my words of praise, but saw tangible evidence of her good behavior. This also enabled me to take them from her just as quickly to show the immediate consequence of her unacceptable behavior. This game helped her to understand that I still loved her and that she was a good person, but there were guidelines that needed to be followed. It helped me not to yell and continually feel the need to raise my voice. It was also a system my husband Steve could quickly pick up after a hard day's work and on the weekends without feeling left out. We've also allowed baby-sitters to use it to reward Haley for cooperating.
For us, the ticket system has eliminated the need to spank, and 'time-out' is reserved for those really trying times when separation is best for both us and Haley. Altogether, it has greatly lessened the power struggle that I have felt with Haley since she was very young. This is not a system for everyone's problems. It's very time-consuming for us, and Haley because it constantly keep us informed if we're slipping up on our duties. It is, however, a lot of fun and well worth the effort.
:The ticket system
Tina and her four-year-old daughter Haley were very connected. Haley had been a high-need baby and turned into a strong-willed child. Here is how Tina channeled Haley's obstinate behavior in the right direction and had fun doing it:
Haley and I were butting heads, and it seemed like our whole day was becoming increasingly full of negatives. All the techniques I'd tried before weren't working. So I tried what we fondly refer to as the ticket system. This took incredible stress off me as a mother, and I was no longer the bad guy. I give her three 'free' tickets to start the day. She earns tickets for helping without being asked, for doing assigned chores, for having a good attitude, etc. She loses tickets for whining, complaining, refusing to obey (which eliminated the on-going 'By the time I count to three' line that I was always using). The tickets became like gold, and after a while she became more and more eager to please. At the end of the day or the week Haley got a special treat that was prearranged according to the number of coupons she had collected (frozen yogurt, a movie, a hamburger, etc.).
With Haley, it was very difficult to see the 'positive' in her behavior. The ticket system forced me to 'catch' her at being good, as opposed to just seeing the bad. I found myself saying things such as, 'I liked the way you smiled when you woke up this morning' or 'Thank you for waiting your turn on the swing without screaming or crying.' Delayed gratification was not Haley's strong suit, so I would carry tickets with me everywhere we went, so that she not only heard my words of praise, but saw tangible evidence of her good behavior. This also enabled me to take them from her just as quickly to show the immediate consequence of her unacceptable behavior. This game helped her to understand that I still loved her and that she was a good person, but there were guidelines that needed to be followed. It helped me not to yell and continually feel the need to raise my voice. It was also a system my husband Steve could quickly pick up after a hard day's work and on the weekends without feeling left out. We've also allowed baby-sitters to use it to reward Haley for cooperating.
For us, the ticket system has eliminated the need to spank, and 'time-out' is reserved for those really trying times when separation is best for both us and Haley. Altogether, it has greatly lessened the power struggle that I have felt with Haley since she was very young. This is not a system for everyone's problems. It's very time-consuming for us, and Haley because it constantly keep us informed if we're slipping up on our duties. It is, however, a lot of fun and well worth the effort.
Comment