Help! Need To Potty Train A 4 Year Old

[Daycaremomof2]

Hi Ladies! I need some help.

I care for a little boy who will be 4 in April. He refuses to try to use the potty at all at my house, and will occasionally use it at his mom. How can I help him use the potty at my house? I have tried rewards, treats, etc. I will not try anything punitive so please don't suggest time outs, etc (I have seen people do that before and its awful).

He is the sweetest little boy and I adore him, but he can't attend preschool, etc, until he is potty trained, not to mention that I really dont want to change a 4 year old boys diaper.

Suggestions?

[Cat Herder]

I'd just make it a part of your routine...like circle time and mealtimes. NO is not an option for a while....

[Daycaremomof2]

Do you think eventually he will just pick it up? I take him before snack time in the mornings, before lunch, before nap, and after nap and he keeps telling me that "It won come out." LOL

Has anyone used little potty targets? I am thinking about getting some to make it into a game.

[Cat Herder]

Honestly, I don't reward, bribe or make it fun. IMHO, It just IS.

I put no positive or negative derivation to it.... I take them in, turn on the tap, let them go, help/direct them to wash up....then back to the playroom. Sometimes I have them sit outside the door because it is my turn. ::

It is no different than "Put on coats" or "Pick up toys".... it is just a part of being human. :: I don't have any potty struggles here....it is a non-issue from day one.

I worked in a center that potty trained by humilation and punishment before... I guess that is why it was such a sore spot with me when I opened my own.

[Ariana]

I have never ever done this as I've never PT anyone over the age of 3 but some find success in getting the child to help clean up the accidents. Maybe if he were to see the amount of work involved in it he'd make a connection to using the toilet? Also along the lines of using target some people have put blue food coloring in the bowl and the pee is supposed to turn it green...maybe try something like that?

Good luck

[bice99]

Boys have to sit down until they figure it out at my house, so no targets or anything. Sometimes it helps if I leave the bathroom and tell them to let me know when they've gone. My bathroom is next to my kitchen and family room so we leave the door open and I can listen. And yes, just make it part of the routine. Some kids think they have to push the pee out, which obviously doesn't work, so getting him to relax somehow will help. I sing a lot of songs that I made up for my own girls are the potty. Like, "Pooh pooh in the potty with *****" to the tune of "Someone's in the kitchen with Dina."

[mac60]

It sounds like the parents are not helping in this life skill at all, that being said, it is not your responsibility to potty train the child, that is the parent's responsibility. I feel as a provider it is my responsibility to help once they have been working on it at home and understand the concept, and can tell me they have to pee...until they are at that point, parents are the ones who should be training.

[youretooloud]

Honestly, I don't reward, bribe or make it fun. IMHO, It just IS.

I put no positive or negative derivation to it....

That's how I do it too. Especially at this age. It's just time to be potty trained. I don't make a big deal out of it, we just do it. It's done in a day or so, and I don't cave in unless they are just not ready.

I don't think an almost four year old is "not ready". He just doesn't want to. But, life is full of "I don't want to" and we all have to **** it up.

[Cat Herder]

It sounds like the parents are not helping in this life skill at all, that being said, it is not your responsibility to potty train the child, that is the parent's responsibility. I feel as a provider it is my responsibility to help once they have been working on it at home and understand the concept, and can tell me they have to pee...until they are at that point, parents are the ones who should be training.

I am the same way....

This one is hard, though...because he will miss out on preschool if he does not get it in the next few months. It could cause a word of mouth issue...

I'd hate for the parent and new providers to badmouth the current provider in her community... I can see it happening, too.....

Have you ever heard they way they talk about each other in trainings?

[Daycaremomof2]

Yes- the parents should be helping him more at home, but that being said, this little guy needs to go to preschool, and I really, really, really like him a lot, so I am going to take this on as a personal challenge. He is the youngest, and his mom isnt having any more kids so I think maybe she is holding on to his youth- he still comes everyday with a binky, sometimes in his mouth. I just hold my hand out and he spits it out in my hand and it gets put up for the rest of the day. happyface

I am going to try the "part of a regular routine" idea, and just take him. Hopefully he will eventually get it.

[countrymom]

thats what I do, I make it a part of the routine, and teach him to sit down to pee. Its so much easier. Does he come in a pull up or diaper or underware.