Final Notice?

[bunnyslippers]

If you feel strongly that the situation has reached a point where you can't help with the behavior and that is unsafe for the other children in your care, then I would terminate (if you can financially handle losing the spots). I think if you are frustrated with a family, it can get harder and harder to deal with them as the behaviors continue. You have made the family aware of your concerns. If it isn't working and you can cut your losses, I suggest terminating. It isn't worth the stress~

[daycare]

I had a child like this about a year ago. The mom was a young single mother, but she was a great mom. She worked very hard with her son. The mom was the only reason i kept the kid. She was very receptive to my advice and request.

I was at the same point where you were and I held a conference with mom. I told her that I could no longer provide services if his behavior kept putting others at risk. She understood and together we came up with a plan. The mom and Italked at the end of each day. If he didn't do well at my house, he basically got to go home eat dinner, take a bath and go to bed. No tv, no games, no toys. After two weeks of this, guess what. He calmed down a lot and when things got to the point that I could not deal with the kid, mom sent her BF to pick him up.

This boy loved being at my house and hated it when he had to go home. He was kicked out of several other daycares and centers before me and I just really wanted to give this boy a chance.

I also had to have a lot of structure with this boy. Any free time and he would find trouble. During free play, I would have him stack large empty boxes, push heavier ones from one side of the room to the next or just something to keep him busy. Often he had to be separated from the group, but he played well by himself when he did.

I feel your pain. You are in a tough spot. Sounds like from reading the other post you have gotten a lot of great advice so far.

Good luck

[mommiesherie]

Wow that's a hard spot to be in. I recently had a child (the gifted one) that has horrible behavior and I was at the end of my rope. Was soooo ready to terminate. I gave it 2 more weeks and within those 2 weeks his behavior changed. I stuck to my guns and continued to be firm with him and cut him no slack for bad behavior. Finally it clicked after months of work on my part. I'm not saying this is how it normally works out. I'm glad I gave it 2 weeks before I terminated though. I really had taken all I was willing to from this child though

[Ariana]

Meyou~ I think you already know the answer but are simply trying hard not to have to be the bad guy. These issues aren't new and you know they aren't going to change.

Sometimes things just are what they are. Plain and simple.

Yes! sometimes we need others to reassure us that the decision we're making is the right one. If it were me I would have termed long ago. This behavior is ridiculous, causing you stress and putting others in danger.

[Christian Mother]

Here are my thoughts on this...If your friendship won't last bc your unable to continue care for her 2 children then I don't think she's a real friend. Yes, it will be kind of weird after words but, how much time do you spend together other than daycare. Do you both spend a lot of time out side of daycare hrs hanging out. Bc, I think if she really knows the time and heart you invest in working and helping her two children in your daycare she shouldn't be upset with you over much...yes she will be sad bc she prob. really loves and trust you in caring for her children and she might even know what problems her 2 have. Best thing here.....another meeting. I would let her know that the kids are on probation for 2 wks but also give another 2 wks to fine alternative daycare if those 2 wks do not get better. Start Mon. and count down. Be firm but loving with Mom and Dad and let them know it will be up to them to get involved right away. I would even start making calls having them start picking up kids if there awful that day. Yes, it's an inconvenience to miss work. But other daycares will do it if they haven't been around the 2 and know the history. Some will be lenient others will suspend at the first incident...(biting). As far as the glass jar...Most of my children age 2 will hand me things if they see something they know they are not sure they can play with. I think with this jar you've got to chalk it up to being super lucky and you can't blame that child entirely for the incident and I'll tell you while. You know what this child is capable of and if given the chance she will probably pull something like that which means that she shouldn't be left alone not even for a moment...I noticed in a post you mentioned you and mom had already discussed that. But no one noticed that she had a glass jar in her hands in the first place. Regardless of whether she knew better or not. My son takes out the trash also and he is always leaving stuff out or it falls out of the trash can or trash bag. It happens. I have to make sure though that each time we all go out side that there isn't anything harmful to the kids so I do a quiet sweep of the back yard. This isn't to make you feel bad bc bad things happen all the time but there are way to prevent them. Hope you don't think I am coming down on you for this post. But I understand and feel your frustration with this family. Honey, you've got to do what is best for your family, daycare and sanity. If your guys friendship doesn't last bc of your terming then you guys weren't really friends anyway.

[Meyou]

Thanks everyone. I'm still waffling between outright termination and a final written warning so they have more notice that termination is coming. Blackcat, you're right...I'm trying not to be the bad guy. :/ I know I WILL be the bad guy but I'm still trying to avoid it. DH and I are going to talk more tonight.

As for the comments about supervision I'll address those. I understand she had a glass jar in her hand and she shouldn't have. That was my fault that it was in the yard. I don't have a clue how it got there BUT I do know that we've played in that yard more than 10 times since the last time the recycling went out so it was NOT in plain sight or I would have seen it. I regularly check the yard and tidy it even in winter because we're out there almost every day. The bottom line for me is she knows we don't throw, smash or break and she chose to throw, smash AND break then lie again even though I was standing right there.

[wdmmom]

Thanks everyone. I'm still waffling between outright termination and a final written warning so they have more notice that termination is coming. Blackcat, you're right...I'm trying not to be the bad guy. :/ I know I WILL be the bad guy but I'm still trying to avoid it. DH and I are going to talk more tonight.

As for the comments about supervision I'll address those. I understand she had a glass jar in her hand and she shouldn't have. That was my fault that it was in the yard. I don't have a clue how it got there BUT I do know that we've played in that yard more than 10 times since the last time the recycling went out so it was NOT in plain sight or I would have seen it. I regularly check the yard and tidy it even in winter because we're out there almost every day. The bottom line for me is she knows we don't throw, smash or break and she chose to throw, smash AND break then lie again even though I was standing right there.

You have to do whatever is going to most beneficial to YOU! If you think that by terming this child, your daycare will be more relaxed and peaceful, so be it. If you think it will cause a strain between the DCP's, that'll be a bridge you'll cross when you come to it. Good luck!