Wwyd?

[C'est la vie.]

I work in group daycare and have for 14 years (other than my mat leaves for my 4 year old and and 2 year old).

I worked in one centre for 10 years, then relocated and took a year and a half off work after my second was born. (We've relocated becuase of my husbands work which is 4x my income.) I now work in a large day care centre, and like love being back at work. Of course nothing is perfect but my kids are happy and my partener is great to work with. I'm also in a WORK city. People work long hours here, it's just a different city from the norm. Because of this most people understand that your spouses work for the most part will come first if you work in child care.

We have training coming up over the next four months. Two training sessions on Fridays and two on Saturdays. ALL of these days of training are mandatory and all are on my husbands work days. No compromise, I will have to find back up daycare for my children, and the back up care will be a minimum of 100$ a day (My childrens daycare spots are almost $1300 each, but I recieve 1/2 off, though it's a taxable benefit so I'm still in the end paying $1800 a month for childcare.) So though I hate it I will have to fork out another couple hundred for child care for these training sessions unless by some miracle my husband ends up able to change his days off or take extra days off. It is what it is, I have to do it. It ****s but I will need to do it.

Here's what gets tricky. Two of the training sessions in May (Friday and Saturday) fall on my daughters recital days. She's 4.5 and has been in dance since September all culminating in 2 days of shows and a couple days of dress rehearsals before that. Though I have a good history with this daycare I have only been back to work since April. That's not very long. The doo doo will hit the fan when I say I can't miss my daughters recitals. I just can't. And if I don't volunteer to help back stage I will be out my $200 volunteer levy. (you have to give a $200 cheque, then if you don't work back stage to help out at some point in the rehearsal or show they cash the check which brings the cost of the dance class to over $800 for the year. So If I don't go to the recital and do my volunteer time then then I've paid $800 dollars for her dance class just to be the awful parent that misses it. SO NOT HAPPENING. They're only little once.

I know this will cause drama at my work, but missing the recital isn't an option in my book. What would you do?

[Meyou]

I would go now and tell them you need to attend the recital (just the performance). But I would try and get someone else to do the volunteer work. Either get your husband to take the day off or get a family member to come for a little vacation and help out.

[jessrlee]

Crud! That sounds like a pickle! Is the training being done by the center or an outside agency?

If it is the center I would explain the problem and see if you could be excused, take the training at a different time, or come what hours you can and leave in time for the recital.

If the training is being done by an outside agency I would call them and see if I could take it in another city on a different date. You might have to drive an hour or so but you won't miss the recital.

I would also talk to the dance company and tell them you really want to fulfill your commitment. Is there anything you could do before the show to help out? They might work with you if they know the situation.

I hope it works out for you!

[C'est la vie.]

Crud! That sounds like a pickle! Is the training being done by the center or an outside agency?

If it is the center I would explain the problem and see if you could be excused, take the training at a different time, or come what hours you can and leave in time for the recital.

If the training is being done by an outside agency I would call them and see if I could take it in another city on a different date. You might have to drive an hour or so but you won't miss the recital.

I would also talk to the dance company and tell them you really want to fulfill your commitment. Is there anything you could do before the show to help out? They might work with you if they know the situation.

I hope it works out for you!

ROFL.. no the nearest city is 5 hours away. So driving an hour to training is only an in town thing. It's training chain wide, so I imagine if I can miss at all I'll have to take a day off work and go train with another centre in another city. So again hundreds of dollars out of pocket. Which would be fine if I didn't already PAY SO DARN MUCH. Crud.

[C'est la vie.]

I would go now and tell them you need to attend the recital (just the performance). But I would try and get someone else to do the volunteer work. Either get your husband to take the day off or get a family member to come for a little vacation and help out.

ALSO, my husband taking days off (which he'll have to do one day for the recital anyway, will be to the tune of $1000 in lost wages. AWESOME. And the volunteer hours can be filled by him, but he would feel really uncomfortable working backstage with the kiddies (which is what it is) and would be for more than just one day. Recitals are a few day commitments for volunteering and rehearsals.

[Unregistered]

ALSO, my husband taking days off (which he'll have to do one day for the recital anyway, will be to the tune of $1000 in lost wages. AWESOME. And the volunteer hours can be filled by him, but he would feel really uncomfortable working backstage with the kiddies (which is what it is) and would be for more than just one day. Recitals are a few day commitments for volunteering and rehearsals.

Sometimes it's not all about the money.Time is priceless.I think you may have your priorities a little off. If you not taking the classes will cost you you're job then start looking for another one now. Why will your husband be out $1000? Doesn't he have vacation days? Time off?

[Meyou]

Your dance school requires a multiple day - all day volunteer requirement? I've never heard of that....wow. That's just ridiculous. One of my daughter's dances 16+ hours per week and regularly is in week long productions. She misses 3-4 weeks of school per year for dance. They ask for volunteers but they've never demanded. Now I do have to write a cheque for fundraising and if she doesn't meet the minimum fundraising requirement they cash that cheque but it's only $100.

[Cat Herder]

I'd most likely not put money into the equation at all.

I'd look for middle ground.

Is there a Grandparent that could "take over" one recital? A special day with Grandma, volunteering and being part of the day may be a WONDERFUL bonding opportunity and memory for them BOTH.

Missing ONE training would mean going out of town once to attend a make up class. Maybe do a Saturday one, take DH and kids. Have DH occupy the kids during the couple hour training by checking out local resources (new park, library, museums, etc.), then once you are done have a mini family vacation in that area.

It can be made to work and be a fun opportunity for everyone, IMHO. DH and I have to travel for training/work often and we make "weekend vacations" out of it for our kids. Google and Garmin make it possible...::::

[C'est la vie.]

It can be made to work and be a fun opportunity for everyone, IMHO. DH and I have to travel for training/work often and we make "weekend vacations" out of it for our kids. Google and Garmin make it possible...::::

This is exactly what I'd want to do, but in reality my husband would stay home with the kids. My 2 year old an 4 year old waiting while I'm in training from 9-4 for two days just wouldn't work. With missed naps and a bored frustrated family, it wouldn't be fun at all. My son does NOT travel well.

Taking money out of the equation is hard to do becuase one way or another these four training sessions will be costing me at least a grand for child care or transportation or time missed from my husbands work. It's not cheap for training regarding a centres philosophy change. And not cheap considering how low my take home is monthly since I pay SO MUCH for child care already.

Since I've been asked.
No no family near by. The grandparents are a province away. They are in Arizona for the winter though anyway. This is the far North, we have no family here.
Also the volunteer levy is $200 and is returned once you've completed 6 hours of volunteer times. The volunteer times are only available during rehearsal week as parent helper positions. Which are day time (when I'm working) mid day, so I HAD intended to take a day or two off work to cart my daughter to her TWO rehearsals (one dress rehersal, one non.) Then take an afternoon off to fulfill my volunteer obligations. If I had family or friends that could do it then it would have been a no brainer and I wouldn't have asked WWYD right?

Also my husbands schedule is set for the year. If you take a day off, it's off. His holiday time is booked for our family trip to our Cabin on the coast. So yes he could get the day (as I said) but it is as an unpaind day. So no holiday time. If they give out over time he could take it and make that day off (as he will HAVE to to come to her show) but that's already one day there, and they're calling for no OT for a few months. He doesn't really lie and call in sick, it's kind of taboo. They're expected to some extent to tough it out when they're ill, though he does have sick days, he saves them for when he or the kids actually ARE sick.
So yes he'll have to take a day off for the recital but that doesn't cover rehearsals and volunteer time, thats on me.

And to be honest IF I lost my job for missing her recital was demanded of me of my work I WOULD have to make the tough choice and work from home instead of in a centre. I prefer working outside of the home, but I'd definitely make more money in home daycare. I just REALLY prefer working for a daycare. I like working with other women, I like having a sounding board, I like having a busy fun group.

I will have to take the two courses and just find someone to care for my kids for those days (though I don't know how to find care for a saturday, all my friends that do home care won't work saturdays, they're usually with their own kids at DANCE WITH ME ). But the two May training sessions just may not be changeable I really might be in a position of losing my job over it. I can't miss her recital, I won't. I just wondered what other people would do when stuck between a rock and a hard place.

[laundrymom]

Wondering why you don't just use a college student sitter? Or high school. Seems like an easier route. Or maybe a neighbor or someone from a plsygroup. You have plenty of notice. Why don't you put up an online ad looking for care? Hire a friends teen child? A friends cousins child. I met my husband, planned a wedding and bought a house in less time you are talking about. I guess we live in different worlds though, no way would a 4&1/2. Yr olds dance recital come before my work. I would have someone record it.

However my advice to you is talk with your director. Explain and see if you are able to take an alternate training. Its not like we are converting nuclear power rods to cupcakes hwith some obscure science formula. Its health safety and policy review, righht? It shouldn't stress you so much.

My personal feelings. Do what your heart tells you and find a new job if they fire you. However I cant understand why they would if you gave them this much notice. And... if they are that heartless maybe you should find somewhere else. Ive only read original post though. So I may change my mind.