How Long Do You Let Them Cry?

[Unregistered]

I have a new little girl that started today that is 20 months old. Has never been away from parents and is not having a good start.

Child arrived at 8:15am and has been screaming off and on, (more on than off) for almost 3 hours straight. Child refuses food and drink both through both meals so far.

I am doing ok, I am calm, however, I can see it starting to really upset the rest of the group and we have not been able to do ANYTHING all day so far.

Part of me wants to call mom and ask them to pick up, but the other part of me wants to try to help her trust me and get to know us so that she can enjoy her stay here? I know that it will take time for her to adjust, but at what point is it too much on the child that I let her cry like this?

Any advice would be nice..thank you

[Heidi]

I think I would have had her come 1/2 days the first week. Now, you have to add nap time to the mix, and she will be miserable.

I've found that the magic trick is that once they accept food from you, they are ok. Wierd...maybe you have something special she would really like? Might be time to break out the gummy bears at snack.

Tell me if it works...

I hope you made it through the day!

[wdmmom]

The transition is going to take some time. I'd say 2-4 weeks. Could be sooner if she's full time. If she's part time, could be longer.

Most children won't eat anything the first day or two but usually drink.

The best thing you can do is offer comfort and a sense of security. Ask mom to bring a sippy cup from home and a blanket for her.

And tell DCM that DCG needs to eat a good, hearty breakfast before coming until she adjusts.

[CheekyChick]

It usually takes from one (rarely) to thirty days to adjust. If you call mom because she has been upset on her first day - she won't feel you can handle the normal transition it takes for little ones to adjust to their new environment.

The longest I gave it (before terming) was eight weeks. I will NEVER do that again.

[Ariana]

Did you do a transition week before he started full time? This helps tremendously. I have kids visit with parents for an hour, then mom drops off and picks up before lunch and then the next day right after nap and then the last day is the full day. Usually 2 weeks is all it takes.

Comforting the child at this point is very important. Do they have a favorite blanket or stuffy from home they can bring? It's very tough on kids to be left because they have no understanding of where their moms went and why they're left alone with strange people Hang in there.