Observing Before They Go With Me

[Crystal]

I am allowed up to 4 infants at one time. I have actually had 6 enrolled at one time (3 years ago) as infants and they shared spaces, as they were all part time. I also have school aged children, who range from 5-8 years old.

I do not mind being ASKED about my ratios, I DO MIND be called a liar.

[Crystal]

I have allowed parents to observe in the past, however, it can be difficult for some kids to have a "stranger" be present.

What I have done most recently however, is do the interview during regular child care hours. That way the prospective clients can see me in action as I handle things as they happen. I try to discuss the important issues before hand on the phone BEFORE we ever meet face to face. The "meeting" and observing then is simply a way for potential clients to ask additional questions and to visually see what my program is like and how the other children respond to me and how I respond to them. We then do a follow up phone call to tie up any loose ends or unanswered questions.

I do inform my current clients that I am doing an interview and will have a potential client observation happening but none of them in all my years of being in this business has ever had an issue with it. They trust that I will not allow anything to happen to their child while on my watch and that I have done the necessary safety checks on all potential clients.

Crystal~ I agree with what you said and feel that it IS possible to be safe and allow observations.

wdmmom~ Why such hostility to someone who disagrees with you? I saw NOTHING in her response that was mean or disrespectful to you. She simply did not agree with what you said. She is right though that not all parents expect "special".



It saddens me that there are so many providers (who by nature should be warm, caring, supportive people in light of what they do) automatically assume that all parents are out to get as much as they can and get "special" at every opportunity.

Providing child care should be a partnership with parents and should be a trusting relationship. I actually feel sorry for providers who feel that way about parents because they are really doing themselves a diservice to be so cynical and negative. As child care providers, we strive to teach our DCK's tolerance and acceptance as well as celebrating differences and yet this thread is proof that we do not model the same practices that we preach!

Thank you.

[mismatchedsocks]

I can have 8 infants now, all newborn if I wanted, as I have an assistant. I am sure as she is allowed more children then I am her ratios are different. Also I have 14 enrolled and 8 here on a daily basis, so enrolled and daily are two different things.

Let us know how the observation goes.

[Cat Herder]

I have parents here that chose me BECAUSE I don't allow strangers in the house. It makes them feel much safer.

Like I said...each to their own. Some parents may be suspicious if they are not allowed to watch...but others hate the idea that a stranger can come and oggle at their kid all morning......and they get no say so in the matter.

This is how my clients feel . They don't want ANY visible signs from outside that this is a childcare facility. A person would have to know who they were looking for to find my home and that is one of my biggest selling points (I also do short term/emergent respite).

I am able and willing to ask permission of my clients if I feel the need for a daytime observation with a stranger/newcomer to town (like someone who had a bad daycare experience already). My family is Public Safety so my clients know I will bend over backwards to protect their kids and will grant me some level of trust. My Spidey Senses are fine tuned.

AFTER I have all enrollment package information on a prospective family to include a criminal background check (I pay and run up to sheriffs office myself after closing, takes 20 minutes tops), physical address, copy of drivers license AND my husband scheduled to be here, I will schedule a daytime visit.

I will not, however, allow them to touch another child. Observation is from behind the safety gate entrance and their own child is 100% their responsibility at the time.

If they are not comfortable with the level of security I offer or with giving me their info....then it should be obvious to them that I am not the provider they want. Most locals already know who I am, anyway ("touristy" area). You can throw a rock randomly in town during off season and have it hit someone I am related to or provided care for. ::

[wdmmom]

I knew there was a reason I was off the forum for awhile. Might have to take another "vacation."

There really isn't much of a point in discussing anything with anyone on here when everyones viewpoints are ever changing or someone has to come up with an attack all because your method of thinking isn't the same.

When I have a daycare vet (Nannyde) that lives 10 miles from me, I talk to everyday and has a proven successful career, I'm going to go with that over someone I don't know in California! In this case, I have to go with what I know and that is precisely what I stated.

Parents around here don't want their children around children they don't know let alone strangers.

So, if your having a tough time deciding, ask your current daycare families what they think of the situation!

[Cat Herder]

when everyones viewpoints are ever changing or

Sorry... I just have to adapt a bit to what is presented to me. Every time I think my views are set in stone on a subject, life teaches me that there is no black and white. There is an exception for every rule.

So:

Do I like strangers observing... NO.

Do I think it gives even the slightest hint of what our days actually look like... No.

As a seasoned provider would I tell parents this is the way to know how we treat kids.... No.

Do I think there are situations that may emotionally necessitate a parent seeing what you do for a bit (ex. a mother whose older child died of an unrecognized seizure in former center) .... Yes.

Is that the current trend and becoming expected...... Yes.

Have I accepted the fact that to stay in business in my market area I have to adapt to the changing times and viewpoints.... Yes. (if you follow my posts you can watch the 5 stages of grief progress...it is funny to me, now ::.)

[Unregistered]

Observing

I don't let parents observe because it will be a distraction for me, for my daycare kids, and it'll be a disruption to our routine. I used to let parents observe me interacting with their children before they signed the contract and the only thing that the observation did was disrupt the routine for the day.

I think that observation is more effective when the people being observed are not aware of being observed.

[Meeko]

I don't let parents observe because it will be a distraction for me, for my daycare kids, and it'll be a disruption to our routine. I used to let parents observe me interacting with their children before they signed the contract and the only thing that the observation did was disrupt the routine for the day.

I think that observation is more effective when the people being observed are not aware of being observed.

Exactly. The worst worker in the office is going to be on his or her best behavior if the supervisor is sitting in their cubicle with them. Does the supervisor really think he is going to get a good idea of the workers true performance level that way?!!!

When Mr. Child Molester came to "observe" and "visit" my day care. I was on my best behavior just like he was. I thought he was a loving, caring father. Just goes to show how silly it is to assume you are looking at a nice person simply because they are behaving in front of you.

[Meeko]

I also hate the "drop in unexpectedly to check up on your provider" mindset too.

If a parent is THAT unsure of me and feels they have to sneak up on me to catch me unawares....then they need to take their child elsewhere.

I have a great relationship with most of my clients (a few like to push the rules). We are both concerned about the child and our relationship is one of trust. I couldn't stand to think that they feel the need to come by and check up on me. That just screams "I don't trust you further than I can throw you and I am going to try and catch you doing something wrong."

I would NEVER leave my child with someone I felt I couldn't trust. If my child was coming home happy and didn't want to leave at the end of the day and cried on Saturday morning because they wanted to go to day care.......why would I feel the need to "catch" the provider off guard?

Talk about an unhealthy, disfunctional working enviroment!

[Crystal]

I knew there was a reason I was off the forum for awhile. Might have to take another "vacation."

There really isn't much of a point in discussing anything with anyone on here when everyones viewpoints are ever changing or someone has to come up with an attack all because your method of thinking isn't the same. If you are referring to me, I did NOT attack you. I politely disagreed with you and then shared my personal experience witgh the OP. Also, post #18 (the original one that I quoted and replied to, not your edited post) was a DIRECT attack against me.

When I have a daycare vet (Nannyde) that lives 10 miles from me, I talk to everyday and has a proven successful career, I'm going to go with that over someone I don't know in California! In this case, I have to go with what I know and that is precisely what I stated. First, let me state, I never gave YOU any advice. I gave the OP advice. Secondly, And well you should. She is familiar with the clientele needs in your immediate area. I see no reason, however, that I should not offer my advice to the ORIGINAL POSTER in this thread, which is exactly what I did in my first post. I just happened to disagree with you, and was not rude about it with you, I just stated my opinion/practices. As an aside, I am "qualified" to give such advice, just as nannyde....I have 15 years under my belt, as well as a degree in Child Development. I'm pretty sure that I know what I am doing.


Parents around here don't want their children around children they don't know let alone strangers.Cool. But here, my parents are all aware that, on the VERY rare occasion I do interview that the prospective client will be observing and they are fine with it. It may help that every new client I have ever had has been referred by a current client, however.

So, if your having a tough time deciding, ask your current daycare families what they think of the situation! Now THAT is a GREAT idea!

I replied to your individual comments in bold above. Again, I am not sure why you feel I attacked you when I simply disagreed with you. I am baffled at why you took such offense. I have heard hundreds of times here how we should all be able to share our opinions/advice/experience, we all do things differently, yada yada yada. I just do not understand WHY I cannot disagree without it being considered personal, but hey, whatever

[Crystal]

I also hate the "drop in unexpectedly to check up on your provider" mindset too.

If a parent is THAT unsure of me and feels they have to sneak up on me to catch me unawares....then they need to take their child elsewhere.

I have a great relationship with most of my clients (a few like to push the rules). We are both concerned about the child and our relationship is one of trust. I couldn't stand to think that they feel the need to come by and check up on me. That just screams "I don't trust you further than I can throw you and I am going to try and catch you doing something wrong."

I would NEVER leave my child with someone I felt I couldn't trust. If my child was coming home happy and didn't want to leave at the end of the day and cried on Saturday morning because they wanted to go to day care.......why would I feel the need to "catch" the provider off guard?

Talk about an unhealthy, disfunctional working enviroment!

I get what you are saying. My families do not do it, as they have no need too. BUT, they know they can if they choose too. I find it is reassuring to a new family when they are aware that they have that option.

Me personally for my own children, I don't care how good the provider is....I don't 100% trust ANYONE with my children....I've heard the stories and witnessed provider negligence and abuse.....from what were considered excellent providers....you just never know for sure........

And, my working environment is just fine

[Unregistered]

I knew there was a reason I was off the forum for awhile. Might have to take another "vacation."

There really isn't much of a point in discussing anything with anyone on here when everyones viewpoints are ever changing or someone has to come up with an attack all because your method of thinking isn't the same.

I am not understanding why you are acting as if YOU were the one that was attacked?

Again, no one was attacked until you said another member was basically lying.

In regards to the second comment, isn't the point of having a discussion board forum to actually share DIFFERENT viewpoints and opinions?

This whole forum confuses me. I am continually amazed at how many providers/posters want to share their opinions but ONLY if everyone agrees with them.

I personally enjoy a good discussion, especially when there are many differing viewpoints. As long as the discussion doesn't turn personal, I think it is a great way to learn tolerance, understanding, acceptance and see other perspectives.

ALL of which is important in the job we do.

[Meeko]

I get what you are saying. My families do not do it, as they have no need too. BUT, they know they can if they choose too. I find it is reassuring to a new family when they are aware that they have that option.

Me personally for my own children, I don't care how good the provider is....I don't 100% trust ANYONE with my children....I've heard the stories and witnessed provider negligence and abuse.....from what were considered excellent providers....you just never know for sure........

And, my working environment is just fine

If. as a parent, I thought I could not trust anyone with my children....I simply would not use day care at all. I would move heaven and earth to stay home myself.

I cannot imagine the hell of being at work and worrying and not being 100% sure my child was being well taken care of. Any place that I felt I needed to "sneak up on with a surprise visit" .....well let's just say...I wouldn't put my child there in the first place. There is no reason other than mistrust to do the surprise visit thing. And a relationship built on mistrust is not a healthy one.

If parent's don't feel they can trust me...well they need to make other arrangements because I can't work that way. I earn their trust through their children. Their children tell them how much they love me, and how much fun they have here.

There is no need for "let's try and find something wrong, but do it with a fake grin" visits. They're not kidding anyone.

Their children are happy and healthy and can't wait to get here each day. A few really, truly don't want to go home (and I don't blame them) I have older children in the 9-12 age range who are extremely vocal and would tell their parents the second they were not happy.

But...I am not against those who choose to allow observation and visits. Like I said before...I used to allow it and was actually a big advocate of it. I got burned big time and changed my point of view, that's all.

I actually still have an open door policy which means a parent can come any time to visit THEIR CHILD (as per state regs). Their child is brought out into another area of the day care to be with them. They get one on one time with their child. It keeps the other children safe and I can continue to work. I do not allow parents to enter the same area as the other children or to stare at me while I work. It's a completely pointless exercise in my opinion.

I had INVITED a rapist into my home. I happily let him sit with us. I happily let him mingle and chat with the kids. I was a huge advocate of an open day care where parents could come and go at will. I never, ever thought of what could...and did....happen. It could have happened to anyone...but I felt so bad. The kids are my utmost concern. Bottom line is THEY are what's most important. If a parents doesn't get that....then move on.

[morgan24]

I knew there was a reason I was off the forum for awhile. Might have to take another "vacation."

There really isn't much of a point in discussing anything with anyone on here when everyones viewpoints are ever changing or someone has to come up with an attack all because your method of thinking isn't the same.

When I have a daycare vet (Nannyde) that lives 10 miles from me, I talk to everyday and has a proven successful career, I'm going to go with that over someone I don't know in California! In this case, I have to go with what I know and that is precisely what I stated.

Parents around here don't want their children around children they don't know let alone strangers.

So, if your having a tough time deciding, ask your current daycare families what they think of the situation!

Aren't you the lucky one!! I wouldn't mind living near her, but I'm a few states away.

I don't allow observation either. I'm home alone with the kids during the day and do all interviews in the evening or weekends when my husband is home. That is no only for my safety but the kids too.

[Crystal]

If. as a parent, I thought I could not trust anyone with my children....I simply would not use day care at all. I would move heaven and earth to stay home myself.

Exactly my reason for quitting my job and starting my daycare 15 years ago

Just based on posts on this forum I would not trust another daycare provider to care for my children....I have seen plenty of posts on this forum that constitute neglect and a strong disinterest in caring for other people's children.