Holy !@#T!!! Shortest Enrollment Ever!

[nannyde]

AGAIN, FOR THE LAST TIME: I am not saying she should tolerate it. I am saying she handled things differently than I woud have. I tried to leave it at that and I continue to get debated about it. I TRIED to drop out of this conversation by telling YOU I don't want to debate you. I walked away from this discussion because I could see that drama was brewing when someone contacted the mom and then I get insulted by an unregistered and feel I have to defend myself. I don't WANT to discuss it anymore, but if I don't then, well I can imagine what would be said about me.

I should be able, just like ANYONE else here, to share my opinion without it becoming a huge debate simply because I disgree, but that is impossible for some of you here.

I DON"T HAVE TIME FOR IT SO I WILL NOT POST IN THESE TYPES OF THREADS ANYMORE. Or, maybe I'll just post unregistered, so i can drop out whenever I feel like it, or after i insult someone and want to run and hide under the uregistered moniker

Crystal I'm not attacking your or debating you.

Cmon... now... you know me better than THAT.

I'm asking you a question about your view of professionalism and emotion.

Do you think there is a place in our relationship with parents AND kids where we show our true emotions even if they aren't something the child or parent like or want?

Why was it wrong to be upset and shaken up in front of both parent and child after being slapped, not minded, and the other kids being kicked?

Why do you think that is wrong? I don't get it.

[BigMama]

AGAIN, FOR THE LAST TIME: I am not saying she should tolerate it. I am saying she handled things differently than I woud have. I tried to leave it at that and I continue to get debated about it. I TRIED to drop out of this conversation by telling YOU I don't want to debate you. I walked away from this discussion because I could see that drama was brewing when someone contacted the mom and then I get insulted by an unregistered and feel I have to defend myself. I don't WANT to discuss it anymore, but if I don't then, well I can imagine what would be said about me.

I should be able, just like ANYONE else here, to share my opinion without it becoming a huge debate simply because I disgree, but that is impossible for some of you here.

I DON"T HAVE TIME FOR IT SO I WILL NOT POST IN THESE TYPES OF THREADS ANYMORE. Or, maybe I'll just post unregistered, so i can drop out whenever I feel like it, or after i insult someone and want to run and hide under the uregistered moniker

Hang in there, Crystal! I appreciate that we all have different opinions, but I do have to agree that on some of these threads whoever is in the minority (in this case Crystal) can get pretty beat up. This topic, like many others, is one that people feel pretty passionately about. It is easy, especially with the anonymity afforded by the internet, to say things in a manner that is rude and even insulting. I would suggest that everyone re-read their posts before hitting that reply button. Be passionate. Be firm. Be truthful. But, please, be courteous. Saying, "I hear what you are saying, but..." or "I respect your feelings on that, but I feel..." can go a long way towards making a post more palatable.
Oh, and judging from everyone's screen names, I am assuming that no one on here is God himself, so please don't be a know-it-all! ::

[jen]

Someone who comes here and namelessly, facelessly insults me and tells me I am wrong is NOT deserving of my respect. YOU can respect themif you choose to. I choose not to. And I think the blah, blah, blah, was in another thread, but, I could be worng....let me go check.

And as far practicing it to teach it, I practice it and model it, by respecting my families AND the children I care for.

It doesn't really matter which post you "blah, blah, blahed..." its disrespectful on any post.

You don't have to respect a persons actions, words, or opinions in order to present yourself respectfully.

[Blackcat31]

I would suggest that everyone re-read their posts before hitting that reply button. Be passionate. Be firm. Be truthful. But, please, be courteous. Saying, "I hear what you are saying, but..." or "I respect your feelings on that, but I feel..." can go a long way towards making a post more palatable.
Oh, and judging from everyone's screen names, I am assuming that no one on here is God himself, so please don't be a know-it-all! ::

[dave4him]

And, NO, this provider DID NOT behave professionally....she called three people within minutes of a the child arriving, SHAKING BECAUSE SHE WAS SO UPSET, because SHE could not control a three year old child. THAT is the LEAST professional thing I have heard in a VERY long time.

I know from personal experience even as a professional parent sometimes things shake us up. But after rereading the thread, wow that was a rude response to you Crystal.

[Crystal]

I know from personal experience even as a professional parent sometimes things shake us up. But after rereading the thread, wow that was a rude response to you Crystal.

are you saying I was rude or her response to me was rude? not sure:confused:

[Crystal]

It doesn't really matter which post you "blah, blah, blahed..." its disrespectful on any post.

You don't have to respect a persons actions, words, or opinions in order to present yourself respectfully.

actually, i just went and found that post. if you had read it ALL, you would see in the section i quoted that in bold i replied to everything the unregistered member threw at me.....then out of the quote i said blah, blah, blah.....as a GENERAL I am done talking about this response, not AT the unregistered poster. But thanks for sharing your highly valued opinion.

[dEHmom]

Crystal, if you are still reading this, I apologize if my post to you seemed snarky or anything, it wasn't my intention. Like I said, I normally think you and I are on the same page, and even in this post, I agreed with what you had to say with a few tweaks of my own. You have every right to defend yourself when you feel attacked on here, however, I don't think 2 wrongs make a right, and if you stoop to the level of some others who post here, then you are just as bad as they are. That's all I'm saying.

Share opinions, defend yourself when you feel you need to, but don't trash talk others, because that's not what this forum is here for.

[dave4him]

are you saying I was rude or her response to me was rude? not sure:confused:

Yeah i was trying to type that so it wouldnt be confusing, , not much luck. I thought it was rude of her, not you.

[Crystal]

Crystal,
I am NOT asking this to be rude or disrespectful but as a way of understanding different perspectives.

You have said that you try to take the child's perspective into consideration so in that line of thinking how would YOU have handled this situation?

Like I said, I really do want to know this, I think it is important for providers, parents, lurkers and trolls all alike to see that there are many ways of dealing with an issue such as this one. There are different ways to teach, to learn, and to solve problems and I like to have ALL the various ways/methods presented to me before I decide what works for me.

Let's pretend there are no issues about money or whether or not you would or wouldn't have allowed the child to arrive at nap time. Let's just say that all factors in the OP's situation were the way they actually were. So all drama aside, can you tell me how YOU would have handled this exact situation?

I have a hard time separating from the fact that the child arrived at nap time on her first day. I think that is a HUGE factor in the child's response.

But, I'll try. I HAVE had children attempt to hit me before. The same children who I have seen hit their parents have TRIED to hit me. It has never failed, that I have seen it coming. The child gets upset over something trivial and lashes out.....I have managed to always catch the child's hand midair, give them a stern look, a deep voice "you will NOT hit me, I don't hit YOU, you will NOT hit me" Crying and REMORSE for their action has ALWAYS ensued.

THEN, I have used the incident to EDUCATE the parent. This is what happened. this is what I have observed between you and your child. This is what I will NOT tolerate. If I see your child hit you again, I will know that you have done nothing to prevent it from happening and I will be FORCED to terminate services, as I will NOT have a child disrpespecting me or the other children in care.

And you know what? It has worked each and every time.

FTR, it has only happened a couple of times in 15 years.

Some of the children I thought would never last have become some of my very cherished children that I would die for.

BTW....this response was to Blackcat....I only shred this because she specifically asked. I do not care to discuss or debate it with anyone who disagrees with me....it works for me, and to me, that is all that matters.

[Crystal]

Yeah i was trying to type that so it wouldnt be confusing, , not much luck. I thought it was rude of her, not you.

Thank you. I tend to get beat up when I disagree here, I just assumed you may be joining the bandwagon

[dave4him]

Where is it going?

Right where it went!

[dave4him]

Thank you. I tend to get beat up when I disagree here, I just assumed you may be joining the bandwagon

I try to stay off the wagon... metophorically speaking

[Crystal]

Crystal, if you are still reading this, I apologize if my post to you seemed snarky or anything, it wasn't my intention. Like I said, I normally think you and I are on the same page, and even in this post, I agreed with what you had to say with a few tweaks of my own. You have every right to defend yourself when you feel attacked on here, however, I don't think 2 wrongs make a right, and if you stoop to the level of some others who post here, then you are just as bad as they are. That's all I'm saying.

Share opinions, defend yourself when you feel you need to, but don't trash talk others, because that's not what this forum is here for.

I appreciate that. But, I still don't see where I "trash talked" anyone. I didn't call names....I stated the truth.

But, thanks. I'll try to refrain from inserting my personal feelings.

[Blackcat31]

I have a hard time separating from the fact that the child arrived at nap time on her first day. I think that is a HUGE factor in the child's response.

But, I'll try. I HAVE had children attempt to hit me before. The same children who I have seen hit their parents have TRIED to hit me. It has never failed, that I have seen it coming. The child gets upset over something trivial and lashes out.....I have managed to always catch the child's hand midair, give them a stern look, a deep voice "you will NOT hit me, I don't hit YOU, you will NOT hit me" Crying and REMORSE for their action has ALWAYS ensued.

THEN, I have used the incident to EDUCATE the parent. This is what happened. this is what I have observed between you and your child. This is what I will NOT tolerate. If I see your child hit you again, I will know that you have done nothing to prevent it from happening and I will be FORCED to terminate services, as I will NOT have a child disrpespecting me or the other children in care.

And you know what? It has worked each and every time.

FTR, it has only happened a couple of times in 15 years.

Some of the children I thought would never last have become some of my very cherished children that I would die for.

BTW....this response was to Blackcat....I only shred this because she specifically asked. I do not care to discuss or debate it with anyone who disagrees with me....it works for me, and to me, that is all that matters.

Thank you!

That was exactly what I was looking for. A spelled out, step by step process on how you would have dealt with that kind of behavior.

I do agree that antecedents have a lot to do with the behaviors that occur and until we see the big picture (the actions before, during and after) we will forever be unable to manage these types of behaviors in the day care field.

As providers we need to be able to have clear boundaries and expectations on our behaviors, the child's behaviors and the parents behaviors.

I do think this behavior will be happening alot more in this line of work and we, as providers, need to prepare before and after for these things. I think this all goes back to the interviewing process and making sure we have families that we can really and truly work with.

An ounce of prevention goes a long way.

I do not think that parents should be able to excuse their child's behaviors and I don't think providers should ever have to tolerate violence against any of their daycare children or themselves. EVER. It should NEVER be ok.

(My response has nothing to do with the specifc situation that started this thread. I am responding in general about the subject)