Holy !@#T!!! Shortest Enrollment Ever!

[cheerfuldom]

Well this is just me, but I would never interview one day and start the next. I am always suspicious of people wanting to start immediately. 9 times out of 10 that means that they were kicked out of the last daycare. If there was a "mistake" made, it might have been that the OP did not ask enough questions to learn the previous situations at other daycares. I still feel that the OP did do the right thing in immediate termination.

[MarinaVanessa]

But, that's what this forum is for.

And I totally agree. The best thing to do when you're not sure what to do is to reach out for help and that's what happened here.

I can see what you mean about the naptime thing but I guess because I've never experienced it, I've never really thought about it as an issue. I've had a client that started work at 1pm (right in the middle of my naptime) and since day 1 she dropped DCG off right before 12pm (when naptime starts). I never had an issue with the girl not wanting to lay down but then again the little girl was on the same nap schedule that we were already on and I had met the little girl on 2 other occasions (once during the initial interview and once as a "playdate" interview) so maybe that's why.

[Blackcat31]

And I totally agree. The best thing to do when you're not sure what to do is to reach out for help and that's what happened here.

I can see what you mean about the naptime thing but I guess because I've never experienced it, I've never really thought about it as an issue. I've had a client that started work at 1pm (right in the middle of my naptime) and since day 1 she dropped DCG off right before 12pm (when naptime starts). I never had an issue with the girl not wanting to lay down but then again the little girl was on the same nap schedule that we were already on and I had met the little girl on 2 other occasions (once during the initial interview and once as a "playdate" interview) so maybe that's why.

THAT ^^^ is why the failure is on the parent!

The parent should have informed the provider about how her DD gets "kooky" (I think that is the word mom used) about nap time. Ya know, one would think that kind of info would have greatly benefited the provider AND the child.

If a child comes with any little quirks, idiosyncrasies, tips or tricks it would be important to share this info.

[SimpleMom]

I don't care if they are brand new... have to go for a nap... have to stand on their head... are one... three... five...

It don't matter to me.

You lay your hands on me and you are OUT of here that day.

I've never had a kid raise their hand to me. Not once.

Slapping an adult across the face for making them lie down is REDICULOUS. It's not like she was asking her to jump into fire.

We need to STOP telling providers it's OKAY for kids to hit them for ANY reason.

AMEN! That's all I can say to that

[Sugar Magnolia]

But, that's what this forum is for.

The only actual mistake I can think of is accepting a child at nap time. I think it's thoughtless on the parts of the adults to take a kid at the beginning of a stressful part of a first day.

The child is old enough to know better. It's not expecting too much from her.
.

You are right, the nap time drop off was a HUGE, MAJOR mistake. OP, just curious, but why on earth would you agree to a nap time drop off on the first day? Yes, yourtooloud, the dcg IS old enough to know better, but she is probably not old enough to understand why she is being forced to lay down in a strange place, by a strange lady, on a strange mat/cot, with strange kids and demanded a strange schedule be followed. Unrealistic expectations on the part of both parent and provider, IMO.

[countrymom]

I have a kid (now for 3 yrs) that is always dropped off at nap time. He comes at 1pm, I let him play till 130pm and then he goes to bed. He does get up the same time as the others, so even kids who come at nap time still take naps.

[youretooloud]

I have a kid (now for 3 yrs) that is always dropped off at nap time. He comes at 1pm, I let him play till 130pm and then he goes to bed. He does get up the same time as the others, so even kids who come at nap time still take naps.

But, were you given the chance to get to know him first? Or was he just brought into your nap time on the very first day?

[nannyde]

You are right, the nap time drop off was a HUGE, MAJOR mistake. OP, just curious, but why on earth would you agree to a nap time drop off on the first day? Yes, yourtooloud, the dcg IS old enough to know better, but she is probably not old enough to understand why she is being forced to lay down in a strange place, by a strange lady, on a strange mat/cot, with strange kids and demanded a strange schedule be followed. Unrealistic expectations on the part of both parent and provider, IMO.

Forced?

The child did NOT take a nap.

The child did NOT lay down.

The child wouldn't even sit on the step when waiting for her Mom. When the Mom arrived the child bolted off and flailed and screamed while being put in the car.

She was TOLD to lie down. That's very different than forcing. Having an adult TELL you to lie down and slapping them across the face when they tell you that and put you to lie down is NOT acceptable OR understandable. Going from kid to kid and taking their pillows and kicking them while they are laying down is NOT acceptable or understandable. Running from your Mother out onto the sidewalk and kicking and screaming when she is putting you in the car seat is NOT acceptable or understandable.

Crying while laying down is understandable.
Flailling around on a mat while laying down is understandable.
Talking and even screaming is understandable.

Slapping a stranger adult hard across the face is not. Getting up out of the mat and kicking the other children is not. Refusing to follow directions once you disobeyed is not acceptable.

I think we all need to keep in mind that this provider got this kid out of her house in 35 minutes from the time the child slapped her. The child left the house without a single mark on her. She felt happy and comfortable enough to refuse any directions after she refused to lay down. She felt comfortable enough to refuse to even SIT DOWN on the step. She felt comfortable enough to bolt off down the street and go ballistic on her Mom when she tried to put her in the car seat.

That's not a kid who feels THREATENED and is defending themselves. Once Mama came the threatened child would fall into the Mom in a puddle of tears and wail. They would BOLT to the CAR and climb in to get away from the big bad mean lady who they slapped a half an hour before.

I'm not buying this one bit. Sure they should have planned to have her up and with the provider and kids before expecting her to lie down but in the scheme of things the mistake on both the parent and providers part was teeeeeeeny tiny. Adults ARE allowed to make mistakes with kids that don't harm them in any way.

I think one of the biggest lessons here is that if you don't make sure that every aspect of the interview and intergration process is done properly you can have a deal where within 24 hours of meeting a new client you can have your name blasted publicly and be turned into licensening.

For this provider it wasn't WORTH what she went thru with the Mom, the kid, the NO money, and licenensing.

Next time... interview the client completely. Put some time into making sure they are the right fit. Make SURE you get paid or have proof that you will get paid. Don't take clients who need to start the next day. Make sure you have a probation period for the child and TELL the parent at interview ONE that you do NOT care for kids who are violent to children or adults. That means even if they are "****y, two year olds, boys, two year old boys, three year old girl who is still in the throes of two year old behavior, and AWESOME amazing" kids... they still can't have a slot in your daycare if they HIT, FIGHT, BITE, PINCH, or otherwise. Tell the parent this upfront so they won't bother to bring their "awesome and amazing" child to you. They aren't going to want to come get them 45 minutes after bringing them because they KNOW their kid is going to be violent when they are told to do something they don't want to do or are told... to even just get in the car.

[nannyde]

But, were you given the chance to get to know him first? Or was he just brought into your nap time on the very first day?

It doesn't matter. Telling a kid to lie down is NOT something that is horrible. It's not torture. It's not mean. It's not dangerous. It requires ZERO physical skill. It's something the child has done thousands of times in its life.

[Unregistered]

Nannyde is a genious!

I have been reading this thread and I must agree with nannyde 100%! This provider did not force this child to lie down, nor was she mean about it. She TRIED being nurturing and caring towards this child from the sound of it, but this child clearly had her own agenda.

We as providers need to stop accepting this kind of behavior from both parents and children. What happened to respect and responsibility? This provider was professional about the whole situation, and this parents response is simply childish and just proves nannyde's thoughts on these "entitled" parents who refuse to accept responsibility for the parenting ( or lack thereof) of their "special" children.

Nannyde, I believe you've nailed this situation and parent, right on. Your wisdom from all your experience is greatly appreciated. Providers need to stand up and refuse to tolerate or make excuses for irresponsible parents. Thank you for your courage and wisdom!

[Unregistered]

Are you for real???

I will just agree to disagree with you here Nan....I'm not in the mood to debate you.

then don't! Nan is right on! Provider did the right thing!

Children today show no respect and it's providers like you that encourage this behavior. Have some common sense to know the difference between respect and abuse.

In this case the provider was being abused. No Go....she did the right thing by terming right off, and I am not a person that would term right away but for this situation yes.

Lets let the adults be the adults and the children be the children.....ugh!

[Unregistered]

I agree with Crystal. On her very first day (stress) in a very new place (stress) her mother drops her off (stress) and then a new person (stress) immediately tells her that she has to take a nap (stress). I would freak out too! I am not condoning her aggressive actions, but think about it from the little girls perspective. She may not have the verbal skills to say, "Daycare Lady, I am scared and I want my mom!" Under all that stress she probably reverted back to primal instincts!

So its ok to let a bunch of animals run the show....... and you are condoning her aggressive actions. She will never learn if everyone cops it up to stress and associates that behavior with being stressed.

Not being able to get a hold of the parents or back ups right away and the reaction to their child.....not cool.

Most likely this child will be on meds to control her behavior by elementary school-

[dEHmom]

I realize the child was stressed, but is it not one of our responsibilities as parents and providers to help children deal with stress? Help them learn to cope?

All this played out so fast, and the provider did nothing wrong in my eyes. She may have made a mistake or 2, and we've only got the 1 side of the story, the other side would be the child's and they are not here to give that side.

SO...... like it's been said already, the child behaved very out of control, and if they behaved that way, as said already, in front of a stranger, that is not normal. What does this child behave like in front of people she know's and trusts? I can't imagine any better than that.

This child was bothering and harming the other children. AND the provider to top it. There is no acceptance on this matter. Should the provider have given the child another day? another week? to act this way, and say "it's ok, she is stressed?" Should the provider have let her have the opportunity to slap some other kid in the face? or kick in the head? I don't think so.

IF this provider had decided to brush it off as stress and allow this kid to continue another few weeks to adjust, EVERYONE on this forum would say why didn't you term immediately? Why would you allow this child to continue on?

I realize everyone has a different opinion and everyone would handle situations a little different than someone else would, but seriously, sometimes I find that if the provider did the right thing, someone's always going to debate it and say she did it wrong. And when she does it the other way, everyone will flame her for not doing the opposite..

There is far too much on this thread now for anyone to be able to read it thoroughly and take good information from it and learn from the bad now. I think too much back and forth on the same thing is going on, and it's getting old. This is a very good topic with lots of helpful information, but with the number of pages on this thread now, not many will get to see the good stuff, only all the bickering going on.

[Crystal]

then don't! Nan is right on! Provider did the right thing!

Children today show no respect and it's providers like you that encourage this behavior. Have some common sense to know the difference between respect and abuse.

In this case the provider was being abused. No Go....she did the right thing by terming right off, and I am not a person that would term right away but for this situation yes.

Lets let the adults be the adults and the children be the children.....ugh!

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Ah, thanks for letting me get that out.

Excuse me? Don't tell me "then don't"....I didn't. I did not debate nan about her methods or beliefs. I don't think I even responded to her after that post.....I'd have to go back and check to be sure though....and I don't have time for that right now.

Just because YOU think Nan is right doesn't mean she is. YOU are just another faceless, nameless person in a whole world of an internet society, so YOUR opinion is worthless to me.

Don't tell me that it's providers like me that "encourage this behavior" You don't know me from a hill of beans. I don't encourage this type of behavior, in fact I said I DON'T tolerate it. Just because I look at things from more than just my own perspective, and most certainly consider it from the CHILD'S perspective, doesn't mean I enocurage or condone this type of behavior.

Oh, and trust me, I have FAR more common sense than you would even recognize.

I agree that it is the providers right to term. My only irritation with the whole thing is that a young child came into her first day of care and sent to lay down. Had she been given a chance to mellow, the provider may very likely have found that she loved the kid.....she never had a chance to find out.

And, NO, this provider DID NOT behave professionally....she called three people within minutes of a the child arriving, SHAKING BECAUSE SHE WAS SO UPSET, because SHE could not control a three year old child. THAT is the LEAST professional thing I have heard in a VERY long time.

[dEHmom]

Crystal, I am sorry but I need to call you out on this, I think you are taking this a little bit too far.

The forum is here for members and non members to come and share their experiences and opinions. Everyone has the right to take it or leave it. But your comment regarding being a "faceless , nameless person in a whole world of an internet society, so YOUR opinion is worthless to me" isn't called for.

Usually you and I agree on the same things, but I'm sorry, this isn't highschool, and that last post you made IMO is just as bad as some of the unregistered/troll posts that are on here.