All the DCK are Great, but My Kids....

[SunflowerMama]

I don't know what is going on but my kids (3yr old twins) have been behaving so badly since I started the childcare. I'm sure most of it is jealousy but they have been so disobedient and disrespectful when other families are interviewing or when people are here to meet (just had the food program rep here today) and I just don't know what to do.

We'll be reading or having circle time and one of my girls will kick off and be completely disruptive to the group and I feel so bad for the other dck. I know I probably expect more from them than the other kids but they are so out of wack I don't know what to do.

Will this ever settle down?? Any advice??

**Today one of my daughters ran in the house during outdoor time, shut and locked the door. She wouldn't/couldn't get it unlocked so I eventually had to scale our fence and run around to come in the front of the house. I was hot.

[originalkat]

oh wow!

I send my kids to their room when they misbehave. I dont know if that would work for your girls, but it does mine. I also dont have my kids (or anyone) home when I do interviews. There is just too much to cover (tour, policies, contracts) for me to have to deal with my own clingy children. My hubby takes them out or they go to grandmas house.

I would have been so mad if my child locked the door...beyond mad! But in the future bring a key out with you.

[SunflowerMama]

I've now stashed a spare key in the backyard and around the front porch. I do send them to their room if they misbehave and that worked a bit today but the all-day whinning from them is killing me and I don't want them to negatively rub off on the dck.

I have learned my lesson with interviews and now don't schedule anything during a week day. I need my husband home as my tag-team partner with the girls.

[momma2girls]

I've now stashed a spare key in the backyard and around the front porch. I do send them to their room if they misbehave and that worked a bit today but the all-day whinning from them is killing me and I don't want them to negatively rub off on the dck.

I have learned my lesson with interviews and now don't schedule anything during a week day. I need my husband home as my tag-team partner with the girls.

I do the same thing!! I want everyone to meet him as well. He also helps me with our own children

[momofsix]

Maybe if they could look forward to some "special" time they could earn with you in the evenings or on weekends that could be an incentive for them. Obviously this would have to be different than the normal time you would spend with them as they don't have to earn that! Maybe a lunch out, special video...something they could look forward to and you could remind them about throughouot the day/week.
Another thing I use to do when my kids were little and I did daycare because I felt guilty about not giving them individual attention because there seemed to be so little time was this: every evening my six girls would rotate having one stay up 15 minutes later than the others. This 15 minutes was our time to do whatever they wanted--usually it involved playing barbies .
At the time I didn't think it was that big of a deal--but just the other day I heard my 19 and 18 year old girls talking about how they got SO excited for their 15 minute day, and how special it made them feel! (It's good when our kids get old enough to say something good about ouor parenting:

[misol]

Maybe if they could look forward to some "special" time they could earn with you in the evenings or on weekends that could be an incentive for them. Obviously this would have to be different than the normal time you would spend with them as they don't have to earn that! Maybe a lunch out, special video...something they could look forward to and you could remind them about throughouot the day/week.
Another thing I use to do when my kids were little and I did daycare because I felt guilty about not giving them individual attention because there seemed to be so little time was this: every evening my six girls would rotate having one stay up 15 minutes later than the others. This 15 minutes was our time to do whatever they wanted--usually it involved playing barbies .
At the time I didn't think it was that big of a deal--but just the other day I heard my 19 and 18 year old girls talking about how they got SO excited for their 15 minute day, and how special it made them feel! (It's good when our kids get old inough to say something good about ouor parenting:

Awwwwwww momofsix, this just tugged on my heart strings. This is a great idea and I'm starting this with my own kids tonight!

[MarinaVanessa]

As funny as it seems I know lots of providers that switch with each others kids. Have you ever noticed that kids are better behaved when other people are watching them? . I tried it with my little girl when I first started for about a week. I'd drop her off at another provider and pick her up once all the dck's were gone. She was jelous that I had other kids so she'd misbehave too but after one week of going to another house and an explanation about how it was because of how she behaved at home and she wised up. Not saying that it'll cure your problem but if you can find another provider that has two kids to switch with you (you watch her two she watches yours) and it's an even exchange then maybe that will help. I mean you're already not getting paid for your own two children. Just a suggestion.

[Unregistered]

This is so common with *our own children* and just so you know, it continues throughout Sunday School, Scouts, parties, whatever. They know us so well, and know when to be disobedient. Mostly, I think they are just checking to see where the boundaries are...again. I really like the idea of letting them go somewhere else. I wish I could have done that. Mine are adults now.

[Unregistered]

I would just like to say I have 2 girls and I have been doing daycare since my oldest daughter was 6 months old! She is now 5 and she behaved just as you describe your daughters! I researched, asked everyone, tried everything and NOTHING really worked, here and there I saw improvement, but nothing ever lasted! I honestly think that she had to GROW out of it, up until about 4.5-5 years old I struggled and she finally at this age has gotten tollerable I would say! LOL She is a whole lot better, she had to grow out of it, she was jealous, mad, angry, didn't want to share, I cried several nights and struggled with the thought of what was I doing to her as well as the daycare kids!! I gave her special time, I gave her special toys, which had to stay in her room during daycare, I felt like absolutely did everything to try and make it work and please her! I sent her to a preschool program to try and give her away time and I think that helped too!! But honestly I think it mostly had to do with her age! I would also like to say I was extremely strict and stuck to my guns with her the entire time, remained very consistent I didn't let her get away with her behavior, but I didn't think even that helped! I was SOOOO close to closing when finally I feel like she has grown, learned and matured enough now and is SO SO much better!! She is also now my oldest kid all winter long, so I made it a HUGE deal that she is my helper!! I let her pick our snacks out, even at the store and the day we serve them!! I make her little jobs to do to make her be my BIG helper and show her how important she is to me and how much she helps mommy take care of all the kids!! I think it just has to do with age in some kids, when they are ready they just finally click and learn how to handle all the situations they face with SHARING everything in their life, their mom, house, siblings, toys everything! That is a EXTREMELY HARD job for little ones and it is basically a job to them!! I know exactly what you are going through and hope that you can get through this with them because it is one of the most rewarding jobs ever, plus you get to stay home with your own kids!! : ) Hang in there, be stern and consistent, but also SHOW them, LOVE them, MAKE them feel important and TRY not to always treat them like a daycare kid, Let them feel special and let them know that you love all the kids and love to care for them but privately let them know that THEY ARE NUMBER 1 and no other kid will change that!! I would also like to add that my second child is now 3 and I have had ABSOLUTELY NO issues with her! LOL She loves having all the kids! She does get clingy all kids do but NOTHING like child number 1 did!! I have been blessed with both girls, but I was honestly scared to have another child to have to go through what I did with child number 1 with another child, but boy was I wrong! I think it just has to do with each child individually and they each have their own personalities and are all wired differently so you never know what to expect with each child but the other thing I look at was this, When I started daycare my daughter was only 6 months old, everything I bought, got and did with daycare was new here and NEW TO HER!! EVERYTHING WAS NEW AND IT WAS ALL HERS and she had a very hard time!! I think the difference is this when I had child number 2 everything was here, she was born into it, she doesn't know anything different and I think that is a huge part of why she has adapted so much better! She knows nothing else and it was all their when she was born were everything was new and being added with my other daughter! Hang in there and be strong, but make sure you let them know they are important to you and you are only THEIR mommie no one elses, but remain stern and don't let them get away with the bad behavior and I promise you as they age it will only get better!! I felt that my daughter was the worst like no other and I didn't see any hope with her changeing but boy was I wrong!! I would also like to add that my daughter was and still is a complete angel when daycare wasn't around, I make her sound like a horrible child, she wasn't at all it was her and daycare they were worst enemies!! At night and on the weekends her behavior was day and night!! My husband I don't think really understood what I was saying and how I was describing her until he stayed home sick from work one day during daycare hours and saw her in action!! : ) I promise it will only get better! Hang in there!!!! : ) ((((((HUGS to you and your twins))))))

[MarinaVanessa]

Yes it worked for a lot of providers here in my area. Sometimes for fun once a week or so they'll switch their kids to another provider for a day. Example: Provider A, B, C & D each have 1 child. Providers A & B watch each other's child and providers C & D watch each others child. Once a week or everyother week on a wednesday providers A & C and providers B & D switch and watch each others child. I thought it was kinda neat. They're 3 to 5 year-olds and we all know each other and hold regular playdates or park days with all of our own kids and daycare littles so their kids feel comfortable in going and actually get excited. I wouldn't recommend this for shy or slow-to-warm-up kids. They don't usually like change too well. Too bad my little girl is in school already or she'd have loved to do this.

[laundryduchess@yahoo.com]

Mom of six,.. thank you!!!!! Im giving my kids their special time starting tonight!!

[SunflowerMama]

Thank you for all the great suggestions!! We're definitely starting the 15 minutes of special time tonight!! We try to do this every once in a while because they are twins and are always grouped together but this will put it in our daily routine. Thanks!!

[momofsix]

Twinmama, Misol and Laundryduchess, enjoy your fifteens!