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Hopefully once you start some counseling for yourself, your dh will realize that you are serious, you are not superwoman, and that you need help.Comment
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Awww I feel for you. This is common with a lot of women.
If you don't say what you need, no one can help you. They will walk all over you, think you like doing it all, or think they can't do it as well as you can.
All your kid's should be helping out and with whatever you need help with. A 15 min time is great but if you need something done you should be able to ask them to do it and expect it to get done.
Declutter your life, get rid of stuff you don't need or use. Make it easier to keep a home clean. When you have kids stuff adds up. Donate. Make available the things needed to keep it clean.
Your not a bad parent for having the kids help in the home they live in. Your actually teaching them on so many levels.
If your not happy its going to show in your family as a unit.
Make a list of what you want done and expect.....
you will have to pull everyone in and regroup from time to time, because we all fall short and get in habit's of not doing what we should.
After school activities, if they are going to happen, you all need to pull you weight, or I will not be forking out the $ to make these happen for you.
Community projects.......if your home is not in order your not helping others and you will fail your grade...........your choice. Free ride has come to an end.
Stand up for yourself.........who will? They have it made in the shade, they know your a push over
Good for you on going to talk with someone, it will help you to be able to stand up for yourself and get stronger.
Your not a nice person if you let everyone walk all over you, your used, and just going to be very resentful and that will lead to depression if it has not already. Be good to yourself, you sound like you deserve and need it, and we are all worth it.
Cut out things- cable tv is a wonderful one to start with, then the phones, and tell all of them if you can't help me out, I am hiring someone and you can work outside of the home to afford these things you want plus pay a rent so that I can hire someone to do what you should be doing. Be ready for it to get ugly on your side of things too, you may have to go with out tv for a couple of weeks or whatever extras you do. Cut the cords to the games if nothing else works.........I don't know what happened? Mice? Must be Mice from all of this crud laying around. If after you have gone to the extreme and nothing else works........well your screwed. Decide what to do from there. I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my life with someone that didn't respect me.
Don't expect the same results as if you did it, be happy with the attempt and teach on how the way you want something done. Pick and chose your battles, some things can just wait...... don't hold everyone to a perfectionist, including yourself. Balance
If we all work hard, we all get to play hard.
Make time to meet new friends.......let something go if need be. Personally it would be something for someone else that would be let go......like folding the teens clothes, or clean dishes......
another good tip is rotate the housework so that not everyone is stuck doing the same thing all the time........that gets old. Charts are good. Again if something needs to be done right away and it's not on the chart for that person, remind family units have to help each other out and this is what I need now, please do it.
Hugs to you......Comment
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