So frustrated with DCM

[Ariana]

I am in the interview process with a new daycare family and they have contacted my current parent for a reference. This in and of itself is hilarious since her kids come regularly innapropriately dressed, faces unwashed and hair unbrushed EVERY.SINGLE.DAY and I have to do it...but she's a reference for me. Ironic.

Anyway she's taking her sweet time with returning their calls and e-mails. They've essentially told me they're waiting for her before they make a final decision (a formality really). It's been 3 days already and tey were hoping to start on Monday. I feel like this woman is messing with my business. I wrote a post recently about having a hard time filling spaces and now that I have people interested this happens. UGH I am so frustrated

Thanks for listening to my vent

[Zoe]

Maybe in the future use someone more reliable. I'd be stressing out too. Not worth it to have to rely on someone who doesn't do things right away.

[cheerfuldom]

do you have anyone else that you can provide as references?

[Ariana]

Unfortunately I don't I only started last October and she's been my only permanent family. I had two boys for a 6 week integration period but it didn't work out and I had to term them.

So annoying. This morning I asked her if she had a chance to get back to the family and she says "naw I saw that they e-mailed me and I just didn't have the energy to reply" I also know they called her and left a message. This is why I desperately need other families because I HATE depending on her for a paycheck!!!

[Ariana]

I was thinking about e-mailing the new family and apologizing for the delay?? Would that be appropriate? I don't want them to think this is my fault or that I forgot about them!!!

[cheerfuldom]

Is there anyone else who can provide at least a character reference? Any co-workers or bosses from a previous job, anyone in childcare the knows you really well, anyone at your church?

For instance, when I first started, I used the church nursery director as a reference because I worked in the nursery. I also used a friend that ran a huge after school program as a character reference. I never worked for her but she knew me really well and this was sufficient for all the families I dealt with. I have used my pastor before, a previous boss, previous coworker, people I casually babysat for.....there has got to be someone besides one current mom who is a big flake.

[MarinaVanessa]

I would totally call them or email them. I'd do it just so that they are aware that I hadn't forgotten about them and to make sure that it's nothing that has to do with you.

For furure reference you could just ask your DC family to write you a reference letter (an e-mail would probably be easier for her). It may be a hassle trying to get her to actually send it to you and you'd probably have to harrass her about it also but once you actually do have that reference letter in your hand you can copy it and then just physically hand potential interviewees the reference letter. This way you don't have to wait on her each time.

Also have you ever taken care of other people's children in the past few years even though it wasn't in DC? I would ask SIL's, friends etc to write you reference letters also. Having 3 or 4 of these is helpful. 1 or 2 of them may even be fine with being a phone reference. Once you get your clientelle going it'll be easier to find people to become phone references.

[cheerfuldom]

reference letter is a great idea!

[Ariana]

I'm curious because my first thought of a reference letter is "how do they know I didn't write it and just sign their name to it" kwim? As a parent I'd be wary of someone handing me a signed letter of reference witout speaking to someone. Maybe I'm misunderstanding?

I just got my professors, placement supervisors and old boss to write me rec'd letter when I applied to University....wonder if I could get copies of those?!!

[sharlan]

I've never provided references. I've always told the parents that asked, that references are provided by friends, not enemies.

[mismatchedsocks]

I would call the potential family and let them know that mom has not replied because she is busy, and if there were any other references she might want. I stopped offering references for this reason! But if they ask i will come up with one really reliable reference.

[wdmmom]

I would contact the prospective family and apologize for the current families delay in response time.

I might even consider changing the trial period from 2 weeks to 4 weeks.

Do you have a mentor, a friend, collegue, or former co-worker you could use as a reference. If they can give you the credibility of not calling in a lot, missing work, etc, you might have a chance.