Pacifier Policy

[Guest]

Hi all,

I've got a now 3 year old DCG who I look after and the parents still give her a pacifier all the time. She arrives with one every morning. I've never thought about thinking of this as an issue before. I spoke to the parents about getting rid of it and they were flippant and said to take it away when she doesn't want and give it back when she asked for it. I've done this for the past week, but I feel weird having a DCG this age walking around. I'm torn between setting rules in my care, vs this being an issue for the parents to deal with?

Have you had a situation like this and if so do you leave it to the parents or have rules set up? Most other parents agree to lose or limit it so I'm at a loss.

[Alwaysgreener]

I would find what works for me. Removing the pacifier can be different for each child depending on how attached they are to it.

You could just remove it and give it back to mom at drop off, or have child do that. One thing I do is take it from the child and pocket until it is needed. (Key word needed)

​​​you could offer a substitute, " I will give you a sticker if you can go play with out your pacifier" or "you can play with this special toy if you let me hold your pacifier"

Then after the child is weaned at my home, I return the pacifiers to dcm and announce dck has not used one here in x many weeks.

I never worry about what is happens at home. I have had Dcg getting bottles and sleeping in cribs until they were 4.

[Springvalley]

We had a child that started, and they had a pacifier and we took it after they got acclimated to the daycare and they did great with it and the reason we didn't take it sooner was because the only time they used it was during nap

[e.j.]

With pacifiers, I usually just go with what the parents want at first. As soon as the child starts taking it out of his/her mouth and leaving it around for the other kids to see and try to put in their mouths, it changes for me. I watch and when I see it somewhere other than the child's mouth, I take it and put it away without saying anything to the child. If he notices and puts up a fuss, I'll give it back with a warning that it has to stay in his mouth or I'll take it away again. Once he stops noticing that it's missing, it becomes a nap time only thing if he asks for it. Once he stops asking for it, I "forget" to give it to him. Once I know he can go without it, I give it back to the parent. I don't really give any thought to what the parents are doing at home.

[Guest]

Thanks all for the replies ! Sorry I completely missed off an important detai in my post. I've been putting it in a box after a few minutes of settling, and she's had it for naps. She asked for it when playing but after being a little upset for a couple of minutes was fine and it was no issue, she can go without it.

The problem I had and what gave me the whole frustration was when she came the day after the dad explicitly asked again that she can have it when she wants it. I mentioned that she was fantastic without it, but still wants her to have it when she wants it.

I'm at a position where I don't think it's my job to argue with the parent, I'm here to care and not to parent. But I only support a few DCKs and don't want it ti reflect badly on me to have an older kid wandering around with a pacifier. I've given it back again for now but wondering if there is a different way to handle this. I wish as these sensible answers worked!

The family are otherwise lovely but they baby her far too much, I'm not wanting to lose DCG either as she's very polite lovely and otherwise easy to look after, she's just babied far too much at home , as their only child.

[Alwaysgreener]

Just curious, what happened that he found out that you had taken it from her? Did you mention it or did dcf say something?

[Amy71452]

Sorry I've posted below but I've now got my account ready!

[Alwaysgreener]

Amy71452 welcome

[Guest]

Thanks again, I presume it was something DCG said which caused DCF to bring it up as she was mostly fine without it all day so it needed no comment from me. I like the idea of the game and might try that, hoping she doesn't bring it up or may have to bring in more formal guidance. It's a hard balance as I don't want to risk customers with costs rising.

[Blackcat31]

I have NO issues with kids having pacifiers at any age HOWEVER they may not roam freely and must use the pacifier in one designated spot. I do not want other kids picking it up and ****ing on it nor do I want the DCK to drop it randomly and put it back in their mouth so for sanitary reasons I’d allow daycare child to have it but only if she sits in one spot.

Also I don’t parent kids either but I do have rules and policies that I require kids and parents to follow while in my home.
They can do whatever they want outside my care. I’m never concerned about offending clients or whether or not they’ll leave as I choose to operate in ways that work for me and the group as a whole. If parents want that much input, they can hire a nanny and dictate her day.

[Amy71452]

Thanks for all the advice everyone, we've found a good middle ground and I'm starting to draft something into my polices now in case I need this before. Now there's only one place the pacifier is allowed. I'm not going to fight the parents as the other DCK don't care about it at all haha.

[Meeko]

I let them have a pacifier if parents want it...but make it clear I will not be the one to break them of it later. Parents make the problem...they can fix it.

[Amy71452]

Thanks Meeko, We've ended up doing this, I've sent guidance to parents on what I recommend, but now said that she'll have the pacifier whenever wanted, and they'll have to be weaning before I now make the change. I'm looking after the child and will help them develop where I can but won't step over the parents toes. She's kicking up less of a fuss this week now she's had it more but is less engaged than the others I look after. However I lost two this year as they moved to Kindergarten so am not bring picky